Jason assumes that the new heir will be the kid (Aegon) which is likely what everyone believes but sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and your thoughts to yourself people.Īnd the hits (and the wine) keep on coming. Thor goes to Viserys to tell on Rhaenyra while presenting him with a big stick meant to punch a hole in a restrained animal. Rhaenyra tells Viserys that she is not marrying any of his proposed playboys and rides off into the woods only to get chased down by THE playboy, the “Seven Kingdom Dream”, Criston Cole!! I will say that they did a good job casting this guy as he does have some of the same mannerisms as Jaime and the confidence of Tywin. Rhaenyra realizes he is fishing, but she ain’t biting. Rhaenyra is greeted by a poor-man’s Thor, aka Jason Lannister, who is tossing marital bait left and right. Then we meet the who’s who of Westeros… the Strongs, the Lannisters, the Clintons, The Bushs… all the major donors. Apparently, his penis hasn’t fallen off yet. Whenever someone mentions a hunting trip in this world, I’m immediately reminded of Robert Baratheon… the King that was promised and the true fulfiller of prophecy if not for his untimely gore by a boar while intoxicated.Ĭome to think of it, how is Viserys still alive? Infection on his back, pinky finger rot, etc. I heard two years and I heard three years, but the new male kid is two and assuming three months of foreplay and nine months of pregnancy and geez you people can do math without using your Alicent/Viserys sicko imaginations.Īnd yes, Rhaenyra remains unimpressed and Alicent already has another in the oven.Īnyway, time for a kid party which means clowns, magicians, Barney reruns, a long ride to the hunting lodge, and killing animals! Come to think of it, I went to a party just like that in South Alabama last year. We head over to the Landing where HBO quickly lets us know that six months fast-forward ain’t shit. But Crabmaster Crabby Crab (who you may recall made his screen debut in the classic Kubrick film, Eyes Wide Shut, before developing greyscale ) can do this all day. Wait, rinse and repeat.Ĭorlys and Daemon and everyone else are getting tired of this shit. Run in caves to avoid third-degree burns. Arrange for opposing dragon to step on soldiers while they are being eaten by crabs. The six-step strategy of Crabman is sound… 1.
and the dismay of the citizens of Westeros who can’t find Clorox wipes ANYWHERE. So Corlys and Daemon have gone to Juicy Crab Island to help solve the supply chain issues ravaging Westeros Grocers, Inc. We begin tonight with wildfires sweeping the landscape and something has to be done to curb this climate change in Westeros! Or is it? You probably need this column like Viserys needed another cup of wine. But I did have a conflict that restrained my HoTD viewing pleasure until last night. And no I didn’t read any books last week.Įvery good show has conflicts. How long does it take us to get three years into the future in House? One week! How’s that for service, Dragonheads?!?! After all, it took HBO three years to get us HoTD after GoT. We’re in negotiations with HBO so be patient. Yes, this particular title is too long but it’s a working title, people. Welcome to another episode recap of Who Wants to Marry a Targaryen (Who, By the Way, Doesn’t Give a F… About Getting Married)?
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